I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
that is very illegal...i love you.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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