she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
