Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
