Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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