morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
