He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
