at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
