i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
