how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
