this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize