Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
