If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
