ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize