Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
