Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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