STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
