Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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