forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
