It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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