i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
