My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize