Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
