Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
