so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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