I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
