his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
