The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize