i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
