it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
