This girl is more easily done than said...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
