i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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