Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
