So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
