Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize