Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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