she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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