Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
only you would photoshop your dick
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Two words: blizzard sex
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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