so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
