Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
