I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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