You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
