Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
