would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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