i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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