This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
