Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
