No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
