This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
