We're facebook friends in real life
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
