3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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