is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
