Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
