Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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