Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
