clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
