So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Someone came in the potted fern
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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