...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize