we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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