Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
