That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize