It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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