But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
