I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
