I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
