Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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